These are the results of what you left behind
The days are long gone, and that me is hard to find
You say you hate me now and all that I’ve become
You don’t believe I’m true to where I came from
Let me enlighten you, shed some light to the truth
If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have learned I knew
How to grow from the old, scared and timid girl
Into this woman now, someone you can’t control
Never thought it would be this way
You’d be calling and I’d walk away
Surely your power trip days
Have come beneath me, and there you will stay
I never wanted this, never meant to turn into her
All I know is this works, and it keeps my head higher.
I may seem meaner and prouder,
Still my stride a lot stronger
With no authority over me you have nothing to lose or gain
This is how I turned out when I let go of you and the pain
So keep on criticizing, Keep on talking, keep lying
That who I was yesterday is what you’re still desiring
I’ll draw you a map to nowhere
That’s where you’re bound to find her
I moved all the mountains from there
One being you, now my path is clear
God only knows how much
It killed me, that simple touch
Near as one heartbeat
So close I could feel you breathe
From letters to words to what lies beneath
Stutter to stutter, my heart in a flutter
And if you ever wondered
Right there, I’ve never been better
No sweeter, No one had ever
Come closer than we were
My heart revealed
My secrets unraveled
In every conversation
My thoughts unveiled
Pressure had never pressed
The way your words caressed
The thought of you possessed me
Through all u had professed to be
Felt like a burning fire
Scorched me from deep inside, desires
Moments of impatience
Pouring love in abundance
Settled so close to your voice
Enchanted, stood still; poised
Every feeling I tried to avoid
Came bustling forth without a choice
So near, as one heartbeat,
So close I could feel you breathe
But those were the days when I was shyer
A lot less louder, a whole lot kinder
You made a difference then
But we had our differences
Desires so different
Left me feeling indifferent
Feeling secluded but your words, so profane
Trying to convince me I had only myself to blame,
Never considered twice, thought it was a game
But I wasn’t playing, not calling no names
My heart hit a home run, yet we were stuck on first base
And before I knew it we both needed some space.
Living in illusions, ridiculous, delusional
Can’t hold it against you, you’re still in denial
You say I changed, though you’ve never known who I am
If I pointed it out, you’d call the whole thing a scam
Pardon my boldness, it’s just a warning
Before you assume, take look at the turning
Point, a moment where all was changed
Without a single word exchanged
And neither you nor I to blame
Seems like the whole world got in the game
I backed off a minute just to watch how its played
From then on the benches, by the sidelines I stayed
No one who knew me seemed to have much to say
Yet you gave up my rights, and let the new rules be made
Before you know it, we came to an end
Lovers to stranger, though you thought we’d be friends
What we had been through
Feels like ages ago
Still keeps on knocking
Knocking on my door.
I got the padlock, the bolt lock
And even the chain lock
keeping my doorway blocked
And my heart completely locked
I’m walking taller and stronger now
My head held much higher now
Reduces the hurt somehow
To show you my head won’t bow
I am the image you carved
Out of the love you had let starve
The girl I was before you came by
And the girl I’ve become since you’ve said your goodbye.
Your presence and absence once had me shook
But now I’m resurrecting the me that past authors took
R. A. Douglas
December 27, 2012.
Great poem! Good for you!!! 🙂
Fantastic! Go you!
Aha thanks you! 🙂
It’s all about finding strength from the moments that threaten to break you. Wonderful poem and very affirmative message, I look forward to exploring more of your writing.
I wrote this poem in 2012 as a response to a rap song by Fabulous, guess who’s Bizzackz.” I think the msg in his song either annoyed me or upset me enough to write something along these lines. I do post older poems. Thank you for reading 🙂
Much of my writing is commentary to popular hip-hop culture, many of those messages annoy me too 🙂 I’m still new here, but thanks for liking “Half life.”
So proud of you! That was a difficult journey. ❤
Thank you 🙂
Truly heartfelt..heartbreaks are very sad and your poem expressed it so beautifully ..was rapping the whole thing in my mind as I read it..awesome… like a Phoenix from the ashes you will rise…sending lots of love your way…
Aww thank you. However I wrote this at the end of 2012.
I was made to listen to the rapsong “Guess who’s Bizzackz” by Fabulous and it lead me to write this poem as a response.
Thank you for the kind words though. I do tend to post my older work here. 🙂
That’s how it should be for women who find themselves in untenable relationships – break away – be better and stronger – become the woman God intended you to be.
I completely agree. Thank you visiting my site.
Outstanding work! I loved, loved, loved how you ended it!
Thank you very much.
This piece is sheer brilliance. And the last stanza…I will come here whenever I run short on inspiration. ❤
Thank you. 🙂
I didn’t necessarily write it as a poem. It was more of a momentary response to a rap song, a few years ago. But thank you, I appreciate the input. 🙂
fist bump and a proud pat 🙂
Hi there. I have noticed that you have been liking the blog posts of someone who is stalking me and someone who continually attacks other bloggers and tries to make their lives a misery… The Wandering Poet. You may not be aware of what you are supporting so please read this – http://wp.me/p3LSyI-JE. Thanks for your time.
I went through blogs I liked and follow, I haven’t spotted a ‘wandering poet’. There is one called ‘Wandering Thoughts’, buts it’s poetry. If someone is stalking you, you should probably report that or …. Call the police maybe? I find it a little that you’re watching the posts I like. A little random. Anyhow I’ll keep a look out for ‘Wandering Poet’ on my blog. Just in case.
Could you possibly post a link of this blog I like on here. Because I checked again and I still can’t seem to find it.
Hi again. It’s in the blog post I linked to in my comment. The blog is Andy Kaufmans Kavalkade Krew Featuring The Wandering Poet. I have not been watching you at all, I just saw that you are liking his hate posts where he is attacking other bloggers and making their lives a misery. You are one of the only bloggers still liking his attacks. I just wanted you to be aware. Up to you if you are interested or not. Thanks for your time and all the best.
That’s so strange I don’t recognize the name. But thank you for the warning. I’ll watch out for this certainly
OK, thank you.
Love this. Well done, well written
Did you ever think about doing a bit in a speaker jam? This poem has so many facets of emotions to say it aloud would be very powerful. Thanks for liking my poem. I’ll keep an eye on your work.
People have suggested spoken word and so on. I’ve never recited anything before, or done any sort of public speaking. Thank you.
You’re an awesome writer
Thanks for liking my post! Your work is amazing!! Are you a professional writer? Writing is my passion and I would love to become a freelance writer! Any advise would be appreciated!
That’s very kind of you. I would love to be a professional writer one day. An author, poet. But at the moment I don’t believe I’m qualified to give any writing advice, however I’ll tell you what I do. I basically pour my mind and heart out on paper. I leave it all on ink, and often in poetry or in the form of made up characters. I also picked up the new habit of editing. Hope that helps. 🙂
You truly have a talent, you just have to believe in yourself! Your advice does help thank you!
SO many times pain leads to discovery if people can turn it around. It’s not always easy to turn it around, so two years after this poem was written you must be better than ever. Good job getting away from those who hurt you!
This was by far the longest poem I´ve read so far and glad I did. You did say in one line, keep my head higher I may seem meaner and prouder, I´m paraphrasing but the point being is that that´s how the person in this case the female should feel. A great piece of writing, enjoyed it very much. Glad you stumbled upon my little crazy blog.
Thank you for taking the time to read it. Looking forward to reading more of your work.
The message is great, how a woman overcomes a control freak.
On point. That’s exactly what inspired this piece.
So you wanna go to Capri? There’s a Rad Dream. Thanks for liking my post. firstname.lastname@example.org
I’ve only seen pictures online. It’s too beautiful a place to pass on, if I ever get the opportunity. Rad Dream indeed.
Whoa.. love it so much!
it shows emotions, it’s alive!
Thank you for taking the time to read my work. So many people responded there’s little more to say except keep on writing your way home.
Well written, i enjoyed it very much,
The girl I was before you came by….
And the girl I’ve become since you’ve said your goodbye.
Says it all! I had to read it twice! Sooooo relatable!